I HATE TEXAS
I HATE TEXAS
I can’t wait to leave this place. Everyone here has their head screwed on 15 times backwards and is so obsessed with a perfect world that they forget that they are young. Young is being caring and loving, fun and joyous, not sticking your nose into holes it doesn’t belong to watch others drown.
Is it so hard to ask that the men I’m seeing stay hooked? I’m losing them all at the same time. And I’m scared I’m starting to fall for the wrong guy. I keep dreaming about him and I get jealous when another girl flirts with him. He has no idea I have the slightest non-platonic view about him, I mean why should he? I talk about my men openly. He thinks I am wrapped up in them.
The thing is is that I know that he would NEVER tell me if he had feelings for me. If I mentioned anything of the sort of what I am going through, he would react unfavorably, and possibly end our friendship.
I don’t even want him. He’s younger than me by several months - not my style at ALL. He’s judgemental and keeps too much to himself. He plays with girls’ feelings and doesn’t care.
Knowing all of this doesn’t stop it though, the feelings. I smile when he walks into my room and I look away to stop him from seeing.
I need a new boyfriend - a new distraction.